It's been a while, but I had a baby, okay?

It’s been a while. I know. Since I last posted I had a baby girl. While I am delighted to have her, I did find the process of getting in her in much easier than getting her out. Also, newborns keep you busy. And tired. And often stained. But I feel like the fact that my kids are now two years and four months respectively, things are getting easier (I was going to add a joke about my third child being 35 years old but decided against it because I knew that I would get in trouble)(and also because of how mature and helpful my 35-year-old child husband is).

For the record, It’s not that I haven’t been blogging, it’s that I’ve been doing it for someone else’s website* as I’ve found having forced deadlines works best for me (as evidenced by the fact that I haven’t updated this blog in 6 months). That said, I prefer to blog without a fear of being edited (many of my good jokes were edited out because I tend to put them in brackets and some editors don’t like brackets)(I do)(see?).

So my plan is for this to be my last catching-you-up-because-I haven’t-bothered-to-update-update-recently post. Regular posts ahead. No joke.


*I will hopefully get around to including links to those posts in case you care to catch up on my very glamorous and exciting life. In the meantime, if you are super-keen you can look them up on www.Mommyish.com.

More excuses

So I haven’t updated my blog in a really long time. There have been a few reasons, including but not limited to the start of the fall TV schedule. Also, I enjoy writing about things that are going on in my life, but for quite some time I wasn’t able to discuss those things because they included trying to get pregnant* (I am still not planning on talking about this part, don’t panic Jacob) and then getting pregnant. The getting pregnant thing was fantastic but it also made me very tired. Tired enough to choose napping over blogging** And then I got sick. Like in-the-hospital-not caring-if the-back-of-my-gown-is-open while-I-am-wheeled-down-the-hall sick. But now that I am  healthy, thirty-one weeks into my pregnancy and the fall TV schedule is winding down, I really have no more excuses.

The post after this one is the one about my whole ordeal in hospital. I hope it isn’t too long or too un-funny but if it is, please just stop reading. It’s just one of those things I wanted to get out (and to have to refer people to when they ask about what happened so I don’t have to keep telling the story) but  in future I promise to go back to shorter, less serious and more regular posts (when I’m not napping).


*this phase only lasted a couple of months, but it really is all-consuming. Ask my husband. Actually, no.  Don’t.  Please, please don’t.

**hair washing, etc.

Why this too can be blamed on Jacob

I have been meaning to update for at least a week, maybe five or six but I’ve had trouble finding what to write about. Now this has nothing to do with writer’s block but has more to do with the fact that I am heavily censored (it’s basically China around here)(but with less yummy food). You see, I am a sharer and left to my own volition, I would talk about everything, but Jacob is very private and as such there are many things that he doesn’t want me discussing with the many, many tens of people who read my blog.

Of course, I also can't talk about work, not just because I’m not there right now, but because of privilege (and because I don’t want my colleagues to hate me)(does assuming they don’t already hate me make me super-conceited?). I can't talk about my neighbours, because Jacob thinks that they are bound to find out (and also because they are so wonderful, it would be nothing more than a love poem). I can't talk about Jacob, because he's already an egomaniac (slash super-private, Supra) and I can't talk about my parents and siblings because despite the apparent and immediate advantages, I suspect that being disowned might have a downside in the long term.

My other issue is of course the time factor – being at home with my kid means that I have a lot less time to myself. Whereas I have a pretty good amount of “me time” when I am working and have a regular lunch hour and (let’s face it) slow days at the office, at home my only “me time” takes place when Mr. Baby is sleeping. In fairness, he is a great napper, so I do have free time during the day, it just depends on whether I want to spend that time blogging or if I prefer to engage in one of my other glamorous hobbies like showering and making dinner (that’s right, if there is a blog entry posted on any given day, it’s fair to assume that I have dirty hair and /or a husband who will be getting Subway for supper*)

Of course I do have more free time in the evenings now that So You Think You Can Dance and the Bachelorette have ended for the season (yes, I watch the Bachelorette - I'm not sure why I love it so - perhaps it's because of my quickly-diminishing store of working brain cells (see previous post) or maybe it's Schadenfreude (sure, MY husband's annoying but at least he doesn't play the guitar/cheat/tell me how beautiful I am) or perhaps it's just because it's good for my self-esteem (those women might have perfect giant breasts, but none of them know how to use a possessive pronoun and EVERYONE knows that bad grammar cancels out a perfect body in the eyes of all men). Anyway, the point being that I plan to get some serious writing in before the fall shows start again. Really. I just have to find something to write about that isn’t related to my life, my husband’s life, my extended family, my neighbours or my job. Don’t worry though – I’m sure you will love my next series of blog posts, titled “Maddy. An Insider’s Look at how My Kitty Spends Her Days”.

*Before you call my mom, please note that I would never feed Mr. B. Subway—I make and freeze his meals in advance-- it’s just Jacob who gets to choose between honey mustard and regular this evening.