I remember staying home sick from school one day when I was in the third or fourth grade, lying on my parents’ bed and watching a fashion show from the future on Donahue. I don’t remember much about the show other than models dressed in flashy metallic jumpsuits (so similar to the ones we all wear now....how did they know?) and a woman pulling a phone out of her handbag while the announcer talked about how the future would be communication-driven and that everyone would have a portable phone. I looked at the phone (attached by a cord to the model’s handbag) and was pretty skeptical. The idea of a purse phone seemed just about as likely as the realization of my fantasies of having a TV in the car or my brother being abducted by aliens.
Surprisingly (given that I had been given so much time to prepare, thanks to my friend Phil Donahue), I was the last of my friends to get a cell phone. It happened one day when a friend marched me into a store, told me that I was unreachable and that I had to get with the times. Because said store was offering a free phone for signing up with a plan (I love free so much that I signed up for 3 different Visa cards in undergrad just for free oversized T- shirts) I signed up. For a three-year plan. And, as luck would have it, my work gave me a Blackberry later that month (also free) so quite quickly I went from being a tech loser with no cell phone, to being a tech loser with two cell phones.
I am a terrible cell phone owner. It took me 2 years to learn my phone number. I leave it in my purse for days at a time. It rarely has any charge (please refer to “purse for days at a time”) and I will not give you my number unless there is a very good reason (ie. we are married or you have temporary possession of my child). If you do have my number and venture to use it, you will likely be met with a voicemail message warning you not to leave a message because I don’t check messages (my plan came with free voicemail so obviously I had to take it).
I do use my cell phone-- it’s great for calling to say that I am running late or for calling my husband to see why he is running late. But I still have as many reservations as the average tech savvy 75-year-old.
Most importantly, I think that they are dangerous. They cause accidents on the road (I suspect a drunk driver and texter have the same level of skill and awareness). They cause brain tumours and brain cancer (okay, this hasn’t been conclusively proven, but I I’ve read enough studies and compelling arguments to believe it- particularly in the case of children who start using cell phones at a young age). I will remind you that even people as learned and earnest as TV doctors used to say that cigarettes were safe too.
I also think that they make us rude. It’s entirely normal to pick up a phone call during a meal or while out with a friend (or your wife). People text while others are talking to them. People speak loudly on the bus, in the airport, in stores invading everyone else’s space and comfort level.
Cell phones make it free for our in-laws to call us from anywhere, any time of day or night with their ludicrously cheap plans (which would be annoying for people who don’t like hearing from their in-laws as much and as often as I enjoy hearing from mine).
I am also not comfortable talking on a cell phone (it doesn’t tuck behind my ear the way my home phone does) or touching someone else’s cell phone (I know you’ve had that Petri dish in the bathroom with you). But finally, I am not comfortable calling a call phone, which seems to be something I have to do more and more frequently as people ditch their land lines.
I don’t think that anyone needs to be reachable all the time. I don’t want you calling me when I am at the park with my kid and frankly, I don’t want to be calling you. I don’t like when you call me from the grocery store as you shop with screaming kids and announcements in the background as you tell me to “hold on” while you ask some dude about where the buttermilk can be located. Also, I am nervous calling you. I am nervous that you will pick up while you are driving or that my call will interrupt an important meeting (who hasn’t forgotten to turn off their cell phone during one of those?) and that I will somehow be blamed.
That being said, I do see the benefits of having a cell phone. I like to be able to call my husband to find out where he is or to tell him something important (read: important-ish). I like knowing that my kid’s school can get hold of me in an emergency (in theory- if I were to charge my phone) and I like having something to look at and play on when you are boring me (but hate when you do it when I am boring you).
I just don’t want cell phones to replace land lines until metallic jumpsuits replace jeans and sweaters (or until my brother is finally abducted by aliens).
Surprisingly (given that I had been given so much time to prepare, thanks to my friend Phil Donahue), I was the last of my friends to get a cell phone. It happened one day when a friend marched me into a store, told me that I was unreachable and that I had to get with the times. Because said store was offering a free phone for signing up with a plan (I love free so much that I signed up for 3 different Visa cards in undergrad just for free oversized T- shirts) I signed up. For a three-year plan. And, as luck would have it, my work gave me a Blackberry later that month (also free) so quite quickly I went from being a tech loser with no cell phone, to being a tech loser with two cell phones.
I am a terrible cell phone owner. It took me 2 years to learn my phone number. I leave it in my purse for days at a time. It rarely has any charge (please refer to “purse for days at a time”) and I will not give you my number unless there is a very good reason (ie. we are married or you have temporary possession of my child). If you do have my number and venture to use it, you will likely be met with a voicemail message warning you not to leave a message because I don’t check messages (my plan came with free voicemail so obviously I had to take it).
I do use my cell phone-- it’s great for calling to say that I am running late or for calling my husband to see why he is running late. But I still have as many reservations as the average tech savvy 75-year-old.
Most importantly, I think that they are dangerous. They cause accidents on the road (I suspect a drunk driver and texter have the same level of skill and awareness). They cause brain tumours and brain cancer (okay, this hasn’t been conclusively proven, but I I’ve read enough studies and compelling arguments to believe it- particularly in the case of children who start using cell phones at a young age). I will remind you that even people as learned and earnest as TV doctors used to say that cigarettes were safe too.
I also think that they make us rude. It’s entirely normal to pick up a phone call during a meal or while out with a friend (or your wife). People text while others are talking to them. People speak loudly on the bus, in the airport, in stores invading everyone else’s space and comfort level.
Cell phones make it free for our in-laws to call us from anywhere, any time of day or night with their ludicrously cheap plans (which would be annoying for people who don’t like hearing from their in-laws as much and as often as I enjoy hearing from mine).
I am also not comfortable talking on a cell phone (it doesn’t tuck behind my ear the way my home phone does) or touching someone else’s cell phone (I know you’ve had that Petri dish in the bathroom with you). But finally, I am not comfortable calling a call phone, which seems to be something I have to do more and more frequently as people ditch their land lines.
I don’t think that anyone needs to be reachable all the time. I don’t want you calling me when I am at the park with my kid and frankly, I don’t want to be calling you. I don’t like when you call me from the grocery store as you shop with screaming kids and announcements in the background as you tell me to “hold on” while you ask some dude about where the buttermilk can be located. Also, I am nervous calling you. I am nervous that you will pick up while you are driving or that my call will interrupt an important meeting (who hasn’t forgotten to turn off their cell phone during one of those?) and that I will somehow be blamed.
That being said, I do see the benefits of having a cell phone. I like to be able to call my husband to find out where he is or to tell him something important (read: important-ish). I like knowing that my kid’s school can get hold of me in an emergency (in theory- if I were to charge my phone) and I like having something to look at and play on when you are boring me (but hate when you do it when I am boring you).
I just don’t want cell phones to replace land lines until metallic jumpsuits replace jeans and sweaters (or until my brother is finally abducted by aliens).
