I used to be smarter than this. Seriously. Any spelling errors, misplaced modifiers*, errors of fact**, or misused words are likely a result of my newly-acquired stupidity. Of course the tragedy lies in the fact that I am just smart enough to know how stupid I have become.
I am currently on extended leave from my lawyer-job in order to stay home with my 14-month-old son and I love it. I love taking him to the park and to swimming lessons and to music class. I love feeling his little arms wrap around my neck when I carry him upstairs for his afternoon nap and the way he nuzzles into my shoulder when he first wakes up, still warm and groggy from sleep. I love all of that way more than I love thinking. Which is obviously a sign that I am getting dumber by the day.
The fact that I am so incredibly happy spending my time conversing with a one-year-old even comes as a surprise to me. Who knew that I could be so happy using my mind so little?
I can only imagine the conversation I would have with pre-baby-me:
“Aren’t you bored?”
“Nope”
“But you aren’t using your brain.”
“Not true, I have to think about what time to reapply the sunscreen and what time the next nap should take place and whether Mr. Baby has had enough iron, protein and calcium on any given day.”
“But what about your career?”
“It will still be there. I have a very limited window of time where Mr. B. will let me bathe him and cuddle him and will want to spend every waking moment with me. Fourteen or fifteen years, max.”
“You are an imbecile”
“That word sounds so familiar….what does it mean?”
Forgotten words are the most obvious sign of my quickly atrophying brain. It’s not even about trying to remember super-complicated words like [insert super-complicated word here, I can’t think of one] but simple things like the relationship between a lamb and a sheep.
I have heard that it all comes back as soon as you return to work, but I am really not sure. I just picture my brain getting all limp and weak, like a leg that comes out of a cast. Sure, there may be muscle in there, but that pale, skinny leg will not help you win a race. I have visions of myself telling clients that while I am unable to help them with their actual issue, I would be happy to recite any Dr. Seuss book of their choice from memory, free of charge of course.***
Though maybe things aren’t as bad as I think. When I couldn’t remember the relationship between a lamb and a sheep, I asked my still-thinking-on-a-daily-basis husband, who apparently didn’t know either. Pondering the issue for a few moments, he ultimately decided that sheep was the generic term for lamb (female) and ram (male). Happily, even I wasn’t dumb enough to buy that.
*In fact, I don’t even remember what that means.
**though not errors in judgment, those have always be an issue for me
***I am being a little modest here, my repertoire extends far beyond Dr. Seuss. Very Hungry Caterpillar? Where the Wild Things Are? Are You my Mother? I know them all.
"would immanuel kant have known how to hold a baby? she asked herself. it was highly unlikely; babies were too irrational, too messy for him, although he would have acknowledged, of course, that each baby should be treated as an end in its own right...
ReplyDeletethat was kant's child-unfriendliness established; hume would have known about children, she decided. he would have found babies good company because they are full of emotions."
- "the careful use of compliments", alexander mccall smith